Valentine's Day Hobbit Style
by SirGhirahim
Summary: It is time for another Hobbit tale and this time Bilbo brings Valentine's day to Erebor. (Loosely base on the real Saint Valentine)


**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Please don't sue me I'm poor.**

Bilbo hummed a merry tune as he made his way to the great hall for dinner. All the nations leaders were gathered for a feast. He and the rest of Thorin's company were special guests because of their heroic deeds. He entered the hall still humming his tune and took a seat next to Bofur and Ori.

"Evening Bilbo" greeted a cheerful Bofur "Nice tune you're humming"

"Evening Bofur and thank you" Bilbo replied.

"What's got you in a good mood?" Bofur asked.

"Oh nothing much, it's just Valentine's day in three weeks. It's a big thing in the Shire" Bilbo replied.

"Like a party or celebration?" Ori asked excitedly.

"Yes, one of the big ones" Bilbo replied.

"What's it about?" Ori asked eager to learn more.

"Love" Bilbo said simply.

"Love? Like marriage? Or courting?" Ori asked.

"Yes and any other form of love" Bilbo replied "it's the most romantic and heartfelt day of the year"

"That sounds sweet" Kili said "But what do you do?" he asked.

"And how did it start?" Fili asked.

"Well-" Before Bilbo could start he was interrupted by Tilda.

"I want to hear the story to" she said standing next to Bilbo "You tell the best stories"

"Why thank you Tilda, I'll be glad to tell you" Bilbo said.

She squeezed in next to Bofur and listened with great anticipation. And she wasn't the only one. Bilbo's story telling had become very popular in Erebor and everyone wanted to listen.

Bilbo cleared his throat and started the story "Well the story begins thousands of years ago during the wandering years of the Hobbits. Back then the wandering Hobbits listened and followed a Hobbit named Claude. Overall Claude knew how to lead and survive in the wild but he wasn't a very nice person and got jealous easily. As the Hobbits journeyed through the wilds there was one Hobbit who brought them hope and his name was Terni Valentine. No matter how harsh the weather, or how dark the nights were Terni would always do his job and marry Hobbit couples. For over six years Terni married couple after couple and for over six years Claude got more and more jealous of their happiness. Eventually the Hobbits found a place where they could call home and began building the Shire. After two years Claude was not happy with how slow the Shire was beings built and started to blame Terni. Claude noticed workers would take days after to get married and blamed Terni and marriage for the lack of work"

"What a stupid thing to blame" Dwalin interrupted "Everybody does that"

"But not Claude" Bilbo said "Nobody wanted to marry such a grouch and it made him even worse. Eventually he got so mad that he put a ban on all marriage"

Everybody in the room gasped and Legolas said "Surely he could not do such a thing?"

"Of course he could, he was in charge"

"But why ban marriage?" Thorin asked.

"Because he saw married men as weak men and poor workers" Bilbo replied "Now as you may have already guessed nobody in the Shire liked the new law and were deeply upset about it, but it did not stop Terni from marrying people. He created a secret room in his basement and continued to marry people there and eventually he got married himself"

"Good for him" Bombur cheered.

"After about four years Claude noticed that nothing had changed since his ban on marriage and knew Terni was the reason, but he didn't know how he was doing it. After a few more months he had managed to persuade a female and male hobbit to pretend to be a couple looking to get married and ask Terni to marry them. And Terni none the wiser agreed. He took the couple down to the basement, unaware they were being followed by guards and was swiftly arrested"

"That's not fair" Tilda said.

"No it wasn't" Bilbo replied "Terni was taken to Claude and imprisoned. But that still didn't stop him. Even in prison people visited him and asked him to marry them and even the guards who guarded him ask him to marry them and he did. This angered Claude even more and he decided to put an end to it all and sentenced Terni to death"

Everyone in the room gasped again.

"He didn't" Sigrid said shocked.

"Oh yes he did" Bilbo replied "Claude sentenced Terni to hang the next day. All the Hobbit's gathered crying as the noose was placed around Terni's neck and tightened. Before the trap door was opened Claude asked Terni 'Do you have any last words?' and Terni replied 'Yes' he looked at his wife and said 'Everything I did, I did it all for love' and with those final words Claude gave the order to pull the leaver"

Everybody in the leaned forward in anticipation and horror.

"The leaver was pulled, the trap door opened and Terni fell through, but the noose didn't tighten instead it broke and Terni landed safely on his feet"

Sighs of relief were heard all around at the good news.

"When Terni landed safely the gallows that held him broke and landed on top of Claude and killed him. Terni's wife broke through the crowd and untied her husband glad to see him safe. And then the rest of the hobbits cheered in joy"

"But what happened? Why did the noose break" Lord Elrond asked confused.

"Well all hobbits believe that it was Yavanna that interfered. They believe she snapped the noose to save Terni and broke the gallows to kill Claude. After that the ban on marriage was abolished and on that day hundreds of hobbits were wed by Terni"

The hall of Erebor echoed with cheers and clapping.

"What happened after all the weddings?" Kili asked.

"life went on as normal. Terni keep marring people and had many children with his own wife. And eventually he passed away of old age. And it is that day that we remember him and what he did in the name of love" Bilbo answered.

"That's why it's called Valentine's day" Bofur said.

"Yep, a day to remember Saint Valentine and to be with the ones we love" Bilbo said.

"We could have a Valentines' day. Right here in Erebor" Fili said.

Thorin stroked his beard and thought about the idea and finally decided that it would be a good idea "I think we could do it in three weeks"

The people clapped and cheered and flung question after question at Bilbo on how to celebrate Valentine's day.

Three weeks later and Erebor was celebrating Valentine's day. Couples walked the streets hand in hand. Men and women whispered sweet nothings to their lovers and many shared time with their family and loved ones. There were more weddings that day than any other day of the year and it was also around that time more dwarf women seemed to get pregnant.

It was made a tradition by dwarves, men and elves to have Valentine's day every year just as the Hobbit's did. They adopted the new tradition with great joy and of course thanked the Hobbit that showed them a new way to show their love and appreciation to those around them they wished to treasure.


End file.
